Daniel Boulud's DBGB Kitchen
299 Bowery (btwn Houston and 1st)
Moment in time:
4/9/2010 8:00 PM
Gorgeous Guests:
Laura Rapin
Michael Connelly
Matt Cowart
Julia Arazi
Danielle Beckmann
Adam Lerman
and ME
Exquisite Edibles:
SO MANY.
Iceberg & Blue salad
NYC-famous burger
Lots of sausages
Asparagus soup special
Sweetbreads
Desserts:
Raspberry chocolate tort special (WOW.)
Chocolate chocolate sundae
THE DESSERT THAT THE CHEF SENT OVER:
Baked Alaska flambe with pistachio ice cream, raspberry sorbet, vanilla ice cream, and ALL things delicious (and free!). Because we were rock stars. It was lit on fire (twice!) in front of our eyes. Glorious.
Pre-dinner query:
If you could remove any word from the Engligh language, what would it be?
Answers (Count 'em -- there are eight): Interesting, interesting. Moist cunt pus. Literally. Irregardless: entrepreneur.
Questions at Dinner:
-If you could pick one era to visit for 24 hours, what would it be?
Ancient Egypt (Julia), Indus River Valley Dawn of Civilization (Adam), 1920s NYC (Meg), Oscar Wilde's London (Ethan), Weimar Germany (Michael)
-Think of one of your all-time LEAST favorite celebrities or public figures. Now imagine that you can control his/her actions for one day. What would you make him/her do and why?
Danielle would make Anne Hathaway have a Lindsay Lohan mess of a day.
-Would you rather be forbidden from all holiday celebration for the rest of your life (you would be forced to wear only black and eat only peanut butter on all recognized holidays)
OR
have an irremovable earpiece stuck in your ear with a loop of 100 holiday songs playing 24/7?
There was a fairly even divide here. Interesting. Irregardless, 5 ppl voted for NO holidays ever! While three preferred the holiday music in the ear. Literally, it was a tough decision. Interesting. Are you an entrepreneur?
-What is your favorite NYC secret?
Groupon.com, Lifebooker.com
Danielle recommends Little Branch where you simply suggest a new title for cocktail that you feel like drinking and the server brings it to you! We all immediately coined new drinks:
Wicked Stepsister
Rusty Sailor
Opening Night
First Date
One Two Punch
Aging Diva
Smoldering temptress
Sesame Street
Chinatown summer
-If you could pick any fictional romance to live out, which would you choose?
Pride and Prejudice (Laura)
Mad About You (Julia)
Jim & Pam (Meg -- but they would have to have much more glam lifestyles)
Great Expectations (Adam)
A Single Man (Ethan)
Helen of Troy and Menelaus (Michael: "I want a man to start a war over me.")
-If you could implement any law (real or ridiculous) what would it be?
Mandatory nametag day, one day a year. (We love you, Matt.)
-What is your best "only in New York" story?
Michael's story takes the cake. In fact, it's so good, one might even say it takes the comp Baked Alaska Flambe:
"Due to unusually desperate and desperately unusual circumstances, I spent eight months following graduation renting a bedroom in a 4,000 sq. ft. loft in Soho, owned by a 50ish-year-old woman I would later refer to as Valium Valerie because of her penchant for downers and sleeping aids. The loft was full of plants and the walls adorned with Asian art and artifacts from Valerie's previous career as a fashion designer. ("Diane Von Furstenburg stole the wrap dress from me!" she once said.) Some of the loft's columns were painted with a red lacquer most often seen in Chinese temples and palaces. Because this place evoked feelings of faded glory, gaudiness, and dilapidation, I took to calling it Grey Gardens (thanks, Craiglist!).
The rules of Grey Gardens were strict. Tenants (three of us altogether) were not allowed to bring any visitors to the loft, we could not use the password-protected wireless network, and we were not permitted to use the main kitchen, instead being relegated to a sort of kitchenette area equipped with a sink, hot plate, microwave, and toaster. You can guess how many times I ate there.
I found out about two more rules one morning when I decided to sleep in. The prior night I had stayed up late with with my strange new landlady, drinking wine while listening to her fascinating though possibly fabricated stories of Soho in the 70s and encounters with Andy Warhol and Truman Capote. As I headed to the shower, ol' Valium Val was there in the living room, and she barked at me to put on some slippers. I scurried back to my room, put on the first shoes I could find, and then went back out to get yelled at for being home after 9am. Apparently I was not allowed to be there between the hours of 9am and 6pm on weekdays so that Valerie could do her work undisturbed. You see, in the back end of the loft she had an office that she used to run her hotline/association that supported people with borderline personality disorder, which is one of the best examples of the blind leading the blind that I've ever encountered. Well, the rule about daytime hours was the final straw, so the next day I made up a weak story about how my work hours were going to change, so I'd need to be home sleeping during the day and maybe it would be better for everyone if I could just move out now. But my plans to get out of my six-month lease were foiled, as she decided she was willing to be flexible for me. In other words, I was trapped.
Anyway, long story short, I survived Grey Gardens. It was incredibly cheap, work was three blocks away, and I really only went home to sleep. Just before moving out, I found out that Valium Valerie was actually 70, which really creeped me out on so many levels. And when I had moved into a happier, healthier home, I received a security deposit from VV that was a couple hundred dollars short. I left messages and wrote letters, but in the end I gave up. I was happy just to have escaped with my sanity more or less intact."
Bathroom blog moment:
DBGB had 4 unisex bathroom stalls, with doors that everyone in the restaurant tried to push open all night long in order to see if they were occupied. It was as if there were lots of woodpeckers in need of a pee. 5 of 10.
Thanks for a FANTASTIC evening out, everyone! ME loves you.
Yours,
ME
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